Of Serpents & Songs

I tried to go to the foothills festival today (since there was no No Kings near me that wasn't at least an hour away and I'm not convinced I wouldn't have been fired if I had been seen). It was supposed to be at the art deco theater I had tickets for to see 'Night Mother. It wasn't open when I got there. I did see it in the news so where it was I have no idea.

Speaking of those tickets I went to the library to give them back.

Me: sorry I have an obligation friday. If you still have the list from the door prizes you can give these to someone else

Librarian - grabbing more tickets, can you go sunday?

me: nope I'm out all weekend

librarian - we'll think of something.

Me: use them yourself. It's a gift from me Byeeeeee!

So here was the history write up I've been planning to share for two days

Turns out not every ticket holder for the Uptown Upstairs history walk (there was over SIXTY of us, yay for that. They made over a grand on ticket sales) knew that Sixth Sense (the brewery I like in town) was a sponsor AND giving 25% off with the tour bracelet.

That included the bartenders (who asked management without a fuss) but damn, management TELL your bartenders there’s a damn event. Those poor women had no idea they were about to be overrun. I got a pumpkin spice martini (don’t judge) and I’m writing this down for me later vanilla vodka, bailey’s irish cream, cinnamon simple syrup and pumpkin spice liquor (that sounds pricey and unnecessary. I bet I could whip up the same pumpkin puree I use in coffee, yes it would be thicker but you wouldn’t need much). And I ordered their cheesy pickles (I haven’t been there in more than a year because someone new had taken over Arch and Eddie’s and it wasn’t as good. These were all new apps. I wonder if Arch and Eddie’s has these as they may be 2 different owners now) It was cream cheese, mozzarella and pickle spears in an egg roll wrapper. Very good but I got my 10$ app’s money’s worth out of it. there were FOUR of them. (I put those in the cooler in the car)

I can tell a) Lilian Jones Museum was not prepared for this many people b) again no one knows how to communicate. It was a good idea to break us into 4 groups (each group going to each of the four stops) BUT instead of letting the Leos (some young girl group who were our guides to the buildings) to rotate in a certain pattern, it was a fucking free for all and it caused problems.

I purposely joined the one going to the Masonic Temple first because it was the furthest down the hill and I thought ‘you have to hill climb to the rest and your car is at the top of the hill so start climbing while you’re fresh and at the end you’ll be on the same street as your car (as two stops were). I have always wanted in this temple but it IS an active lodge so no women allowed (we don’t have an Eastern Stars any more or I’d consider it. It’s all the way out in Vinton and I’m still considering it)

The temple was built in 1891 and it’s a cool building (I might think about trying the beauty salon in the downstairs as I need one. Mine closed) It was also four flights of stairs to climb. (it had a scary chair lift that no one offered to anyone because I wasn’t the only one with a cane) SO glad I picked this first. Also glad we stopped on the second floor first. It’s their social level with pool tables, kitchen and dining hall.

Upstairs just outside the temple itself is a masonic sword. This sword had been stolen by the Confederate soldiers by Morgan’s Raiders. However, Morgan was a Mason and he made them put the sword back (they kept the jewels and other bric a brac). The temple was interesting with three throne like chairs, some iconography with worlds on poles and naturally they told us nothing about any of that but went into every year of the history (no dudes, short keep it short).

( The Masonic Temple )


We walked to the next nearest building, the former Stiffler building (is it me or does everyone think of American Pie when they hear that surname?) And already it’s off the rails. Another group beat us to it so our guide (the adult leader of the Leo’s) decided we were walking up town and coming back to this. But that’s all the way up the hill and down two blocks. No way I was backtracking. I just joined the other group. Stop me if you can!

Anyhow, Stiffler’s was a department store opening in 1923 but before that it was the IORM building, the Improved Order of the Red Man (oh dear god), another one of those men’s orders that were so popular 150 years ago. It had a sister organization the Improved Order of Pocahontas. One person was shocked that the group didn’t let white people into it until the 1960s (a woman way too old for this to have been a revelation, seriously).

They hadn’t turned on power to the upstairs in years (this is where that new antique shop is. I think I was wrong about it closing, along with the quilt shop and the back in time toy store). I should have brought a mask. Taking pictures it looked like a damn snowglobe. There wasn’t much left (the idea that an exit door was bricked over was haunting). They did warn us it was creepy ….and it kinda was. There was a rack of old clothes. A forgotten piano. A Pocohantas/Redman portrait that was succumbing to the elements), an ancient kitchen and a room that had a large hole in the wall. I looked in there and took pictures. The columns were painted. It looks like silk wallpaper peeling off the forgotten walled up room.

( Stiffler's Department Store )


Now I’m more or less on my own so I hike up to the next building which was the one I wanted to see most. It was a used car dealership when I moved here (Dodge) and now it does a local taxi service but in the late 1800s it was the Grand Opera House. I KNEW it had to be something other than a car dealership in the pasts but I hadn’t known what. This one broke my damn heart. What remains tells you how beautiful this was but they gave us masks due to all the bird droppings inside (is this even safe for the workers down below?!?) We could only go so far because the floor isn’t safe (I repeat my question) .


I took all the pictures. ALL of them. Soon they will be all that’s left. One side had old shelves from the car dealership. The rest was the remnants of a fresco ceiling, hand drawn Greek goddesses and gods, cherubs, oh it had to have been beautiful once.


Funny thing is it never had permanent seating, just chairs that could be moved because a couple times a week they’d pick them all up so kids could rollerskate. It had live shows and in the 1920s-30s it had movies. Under the Gaslight was the last show there in 1937. A decade later it was Coll car dealership (which is what it was when I moved here) Which haha, THIS it the 1890s play that gave us the woman on the train track trope read more here.


I talked to the guide and commiserated. There’s not going to be any saving this building. It would take millions. It’s in private hands which takes it out of the realm of most grants. It’s going to go the way of the Memorial Building (they’re tearing it down right now). It’s a shame. This should have been saved. And seriously WHY if you had a damn business downstairs did you not at least keep the roof healthy?!?

( 1883 Grand Old Opera House )


I had one more building to hit, the old radio station. I’ve been downstairs when it was the radio station (they moved up the street to a less beat up place). I had no idea what this had been originally. I was there alone. The rest of my last group didn’t show up. We waited, the two young ladies so worried about me getting up the stairs. Babies, I’m fine. We waited more, no one showed and I said can I just go up alone?


Nope, they escorted me in case I fell (okay it’s sweet but it was obvious I could walk up effortlessly because either they built the stairs well and wide or they had be replaced sometimes in the century). So I get up there and the guide lit up seeing me (I think people skipped this building because from the outside it’s not as exciting) but as it turns out this was built as a Ford dealership in 1915.


Not only that, it has a ramp to the SECOND floor where the dealership was. Why? I don’t know. I mean there wasn’t much to see but I got some pics of the ramp (wait, girls you wanted me to walk down the ramp?!? Are you nuts?) And with that I was done. It was fun, worth the ticket price.

( Ford Dealership )